By: James T. Horning © 2014
Divorce is ugly. Divorce destroy peoples lives. Divorce destroys children’s lives. It compromises the health and well being of everyone involved. Divorce is expensive. Divorce stresses the living shit out of you. Divorce, however, can be the rightest solution to a bad situation, but it is almost never the right option to fix marriage problems. The travesty is that most people who divorce take the very problems that led up to the divorce with them to the next marriage. The probability of divorce grows with every marriage one progressively enters. Staying married is usually the best option, but you must learn what you have been doing wrong and fix the problem. The truth is, the person you are married to is probably a perfect match for you even if you currently can’t stand each other.
So why do people get divorced? Well, everyone getting a divorce has their own version of why, but it all boils down to one thing. One or both of you is being a monumental bitch or asshole. I’m only half kidding. Really, when someone files for divorce it is because one or more of their needs are consistently NOT being met in the relationship. That’s it! If you want to take divorce out of the equation, simply make sure that you consistently meet all your spouses needs. But of course it goes both ways. If your needs are consistently NOT being met, usually it is because your behavior has not inspired your mate to meet them. Usually when you create an environment of unconditional love and support, your mate will reciprocate by filling you the same way.
Divorce proofing is simple once you gain expertise in how to be a good husband or wife and meet your mates needs. Don’t all professionals make things looks simple? The bottom line is that if you want to be good at something you need to grow yourself. In other words, you need to take lessons and practice, practice, practice. Eventually, your new skills become second nature and a part of your internal operating system. They become simple. Truthfully, the changes you may need to make in your marriage and yourself can happen in the twinkling of an eye. All you need is the right distinctions, the right support environment, and the right leverage on yourself to change.
A divorce proof marriage is a great marriage. Great marriage, great life.